Memories

Desperately anticipating the lonesome narrow roads,
bereft of leaves and life’s little crawling things
 the twisted, gnarled shrubbery gets caught on my sleeve.
lost in the forest, I find myself clinging
to those familiar mislaid things
Too addicted to the pain they cause,
 too terrified of what may come in their absence.
Just a woman full of quirks, finding my way, sharing my thoughts, poetry, and short stories.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I’m Grieving an Unwanted Breakup

Image
Those of us inclined towards relationships often have the bad habit of hanging on even when we shouldn’t, when things are bad and we know we should leave. This is even more exacerbated with people like myself, who  come from abusive homes, and have a skewed sense of self-worth. I held on far longer than I should’ve. I knew two years prior to our break up that things weren’t right and that they weren’t going to be right. We were never on the same page and had different ideas about what our relationship should be. He wanted my unquestioning trust in his leadership and I have learned due to a very tumultuous upbringing that no one deserves my unquestioning faith. Trust is a foreign concept to me. Needless to say, we were stressing each other out. The stress triggered my arthritis to come out of remission, and my hea lth began to seriously decline, which caused my mental health to decline as well. However, none of that stopped me from being immensely and irrevocably in love with h
Read more

Compulsive Lover

Insatiably I search for that feeling Compulsively cleaving to cloying closeness, craving comfort In the form of hidden touches  And muted moans in the backseat And Dripping with anticipation of the promise of makeshift pleasure  I find when I touch your chest I feel nothing My stomach, not alight with electricity and flying insects All the while this numbness building Spreading like a sickness As I bring you to your pleasure That passionate release I yearn for remaining hidden from me Til feeble from hunger and thirst I stumble into another pair of arms Blissfully unaware of burdens those arms  May be holding Wondering Why I feel like an empty vessel, Longing to be filled Driving my universe towards the notion Delving into places Love may be hiding  Finding it not in the spaces Everyone said it would be
Read more

Health Update

For those of you who've been concerned I wanted to give a brief update on my health and well-being. Thankfully, lately I’ve been on the lower end of the pain spectrum. Unfortunately chronic illnesses can be offset by depression and anxiety, which can increase pain and the presence of inflammation. This, in turn, can increase the symptoms of depression and anxiety. This is definitely what happened to me. It can be a pretty morbid chicken-egg situation when dealing with mental health and chronic illnesses. Much of my trepidation comes from the inability to be independent and our capitalist society that not-so-subtly equates my worth and value as a human being with my ability to generate income. My insurance finally approved a biologic agent called Enbrel. Its purpose is to treat autoimmune diseases by interfering with tumor necrosis factor by acting as a TNF inhibitor. This coupled with physical and occupational therapy (as well as a ton of other drugs) should help return some norm
Read more